Sooooo glad those holidaze are almost history, and cowwoman can get back to dabbing at a canvas with paint, or smearing pastels, or just sharpening a pencil. Too long, no art. It really is an integral part of my psyche now, to create something, anything. Also need a sewing machine expert to come over and instruct me in the intricasies of this very wonderful and complicated machine I have owned for over two years, and now need to know how to use! Help! As this year ends (and lordy, let it be over!), I am reviewing my tiny life, looking in the dark corners where things like dog hair and crumbs tend to lodge, sweeping up, so to speak. I started a 4th step around my mother (again!), because she managed to push the button (again!), you know, the one she installed back in the beginning, when dirt was new. I have been stomping around the little yellow house, yelling at her, telling her off. Of course I would never do that up close and personal. It would hurt me more than it hurt her. But I do know that this anger lives in my body, and unless I get it out, no amount of writing or discerning or pissing and moaning will break it loose. I know it's the right thing because it feels great. And the really fine thing about the 4th step is, that once all the vitriol is out there on the paper, I get to do the real work of seeing MY PART. After all, can't change the old witch of the west. Can only change the old lady here, on Wild Rose Drive. Then I can paint some more cows.
2 comments:
I love your cow and I hope you can come to terms with your relationships. I think cows must be easier to get along with. I haven't been doing much art as it has been craptastic weather and too nasty to drive to the studio..but I did leave my color pencils here..so time to get to work. Thinking of drawing chickens on black paper. We have some longhorns here that I have taken photos of..what neat cows!!! I stare at them while driving by..good thing they widened the road so I can get out of the way of the fools who want to speed pass the most beautiful of horned creatures..the least they could do is wave!!!
The cow is a cutie! As for MOTHER, well I think stomping around yelling at her even though she isn't present is the best fix. When my mother got to me I used to drive to a nearby Mall parking lot and sit in the car with the windows up, screaming for five minutes. It helped a lot. My Mother is now gone, about four years at present, and I still feel "issues" around her, but I think I have learned to forgive her and myself. We are all only human and probably doing the best we can. Now back to the easel! (For me too).
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