I notice that, when I get all cozy here in the little yellow house, like today, when it is gray and cold outside, and bright and warm inside, my reality slips. Suddenly, I am fat and old and stupid. Worse than that, I am untalented and incapable of original thought. I lose my self, because, in reality, I only exist in relation to the world and others. Sociology confirmed that for me. EVERYTHING exists that way. A fork is not a fork until it is named, and set beside a knife and spoon. Old is not young, fat is not thin. Duality reigns. And I live on the sensitive edge of sanity, where any little ripple in my self image can send me off my thin tightrope in either direction - to elation or despair. Not much in between for this tender soul. Okay, enough soul-searching philosophizing for this peanut head. I think I'll give myself a nice warm bath and an allover body lotion, slip into a soft turtleneck and go shopping!
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