I woke up kind of murky this morning. Sleep eluded me for a great big hunk of time in the night. I meditated. I prayed. I wrote a novel. And eventually nodded off, only to have a dream where I was, once again, lost in the city, couldn't find my car. Powerless. The darkness and I are old friends. I spent most of my life there once. It is different now. Now I play in the light, most of the time. Not at this particular moment, where I feel like sinking into my little hole and pulling it in after me. I won't, of course. I have learned that, if I keep moving, it goes away, that yearning for my own darkness. So I am off to the neighborhood pool, to use one of the six or seven swims I have left on my card, because, despite my mood, HP seems to have given us one of those amazing Indian summer days, and I miss seeing the sky when I swim. That should yank me back to my gratitude place, where everything shines.
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