You have to admit, our Independence Day can be a pretty dumb holiday. Thousands are out there inventing new ways to blow a few fingers off or start little fires here and there. Frankly, I always found it an ideal day to get royally plastered, especially after lugging tons of food in flimsy baskets down to some body of water somewhere, forgetting the sunscreen at some point, then roasting myself a scintillating shade of crimson, thus insuring a tortured night of spraying myself with Bactine. Of course, those days are over. It is egg frying hot out there. We are all buttoned up here, doing our best not to let the house heat up, sipping diet ginger ale and pecking away at the newest bird thing. Tonight, the noise will begin, and I will be on doggy soothing duty, keeping the fur people from jumping out of their skin. And because I live in a particularly patriotic neighborhood, the festivities are bound to last well into the wee hours. Totally dumb holiday.
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