Today I celebrate 20 years of not smoking. Wow. Think of that. And yes, I gained weight. And I lost it. And I gained it again, and I lost it again, and again, and again. Currently, I am on the downward cycle of a neverending event in my life, watching my weight. Even when I smoked, I did this. And sometimes I think a cigarette would help things, even now. I dream of Sterlings, tidy black cylinders with gold filter tips. And dainty gold lighters. The reality was overflowing ashtrays, stinkiness everywhere, and a crushing weight in my chest that never quite went away. And behind it all, the niggling fear that I would not be one to escape the consequences, after all. I had acquaintances who didn't, not even after 15 years of abstinence. They died. So I will never be out of the woods here. However, I have not had pneumonia since I quit, and I had it 5 times before. Broncitis visited me only once in this part of my life, and left with alacrity. And though my lung capacity is pretty meager, it never hurts to breathe. Gee, it's really all good.
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