I always go back in my journals when I begin a new one, to the same month in prior years, easy to do because they are all here, on the hard drive, labeled JUN200_, all the way back to 2001. Strange practice, I'm sure, but it lets me know where I have grown, and where I am stuck, too. And gives me a good laugh now and then. Happy to say, many things are infinitely better these days than they were back in the house on the edge of the world, where I struggled to be kind to my partner, who continues to this day to limp so attractively, and work, and clean house, and corral two wild little dogs, and stay sober, all at the same time. Some of those things continue today, especially the two dog thing, like what was I thinking! Well, I was thinking Pickle would be easy, like Boo. And she isn't. Yet. There's still hope. I was younger then, that was nice. But also worn out, with lots of inner turmoil. That doesn't surface as much here in the little yellow house, only at 4 AM when I am praying to return to the arms of Morpheus, then I count all my transgressions and omissions for a while, till I see myself doing that, and return to my if-I-win-the-Lotto planning, always fun in the wee hours. No work now, just school (midterms! term papers! finals! grades!). Well, there will always be something to chew on, you know.
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