While it is not a happy thing, it is a good thing to be aware of one's limitations. And I reached the end of my proverbial rope yesterday and toddled off to see my Dr. about this crappy mood I have been in all year so far. Well, not every moment, but it falls on me like a pall and there I am, swimming in the murk. I know there are worse things happening in other folks' lives, but hell, this is my life, the only one HP gave me, and I want it to be a whole bunch more happy than it has been lately. A wise woman once counseled me to always look at the physical first, because it is the easiest to deal with, much clearer than the emotional, and many ailments cause emotional difficulties. So, this morning, I got up, brushed, flushed and headed out to the lab without even a sip of coffee to start my engine. I have to admit, the little gal who drew my blood really knew her stuff, not the slightest sensation when she inserted the needle. And I apologized for the lazy way my fluids filled the vials, so she explained it was a small needle and everyone's blood, even those much younger than I, took its time. Gee, that made me feel a lot better. Because I was such a good girl, and because a friend made a payment on her painting she is purchasing from me, I took myself out to breakfast at IHOP, where I had French toast with sausage, the senior plate, just enough and I ate the WHOLE thing. Lots of coffee later, I feel much better, though still lower than low. So I will be putting two or three more layers on this painting I started yesterday. It has passed the what-was-I-thinking stage, and feels like it will become something I am not ashamed to show. Well, obviously, because here it is! There were some prints of amazing landscapes at Quest Laboratories this morning that gave me an urge to lay a palette of oils, something I have not done so far this year. Hmmm.
2 comments:
Feeling down, depressed, less than your full self is not to be taken lightly. I have low seratonin so need to take meds for it (same as a diabetic needs insulin - doesn't mean one is bad or has a lousy character, etc.). Runs in my family and my Mom was double whammy with being bi-polar. Her doctor once told her that whenever anyone says she should quit feeling sorry for herself, that others are worse off, and that she should "snap out of it" then tell them you're not a rubber band! Whether or not the problem is physical, it is great that you are seeking answers and help! Keep up with the painting and don't take any guff from anybody!
I agree with Karen. I have chemical depression and somehow made it through my Dad's death, my son's terrible motorcycle accident, and a snowboarding accident, 3 years of college, and having no job without meds..yeah..I am so tough..I crashed and burned this year and am now on my meds and struggling to recover the mental and physical me that I let go. No use toughing it out..sometimes we need help..have a better weekend!
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