Help, I'm having an epiphany here!

Don't you just love that word? Epiphany, sudden and often rude awakening that may or may not be welcome at the time of its arrival. Like last night. My audio tapes are scattered all over the place, but I found a cache of them in the garage and dragged them it to try out the new music machine in the bedroom. Now, some of these tapes are mixes of music made for me by a former lover, and this proclivity was the main attraction this man had for me, his inner sweetness and a shared love for music. Once I put on "Heart Graffiti", I began to sink into renewed grief over this relationship that ended nine years ago! And I remembered too, that this was when my daughter was still living at home, and I missed her, too! I don't even like all this music, oh, no no. None of this makes a whole lot of sense to me, but then, emotions seem to have a life of their own, and music is so very powerful to me. I decided that if it could drag me into despair, I actually can use it to lift my spirit, too. So I am desensitizing all this music, everything from the soundtrack from Dances with Wolves to Buddy Holly's ditties, to the theme from Northern Exposure. Which leads me to another of my favorite words, catharsis. That is what is actually happening here, bringing all that darkness up and out of my id. I used to think I was weaker than other human beings because I felt everything so deeply, like I cried over GE commercials, you know, "we bring good things to light"? Now I think I have a greater capacity for life than most people have, because of this particular attribute. And this is why I am studying psychology, to plumb the depths of the human condition, my own as well. It's got to be a good thing.