Saturday, June 25, 2011
HP never promised me a rose garden...
Very sad day in the little yellow house. Dear friend, who bravely battled ovarian cancer for 4 1/2 years, passed yesterday, peacefully in her sleep. This was a great blessing. She struggled so to stay with us right up until the last, and it was uncomfortable at best, and painful at worst. We spent many a moment together in our sobriety, and she mentored my sponsor, so part of my recovery will always belong to her. That is the beauty of the Program. One can never die if one has worked the 12th step and passed on the wisdom that was given by those who came before. We were together on retreat when she decided to divorce her husband. I watched her go back to school and learn somatics, which she taught for her last years, and I took some classes from her. She died in the presence of her youngest daughter, the one that had been a trial in her last days, and had come back to help her mother in her end days. What a blessing.
I am really tired, having heard the news last evening, then sitting up most of the night with a sick dog. Dear Boo threw up all over the bedroom. The dryer is now whirring happily taking care of a pile of quilts, towels, and the cover to the dog stairs. Boo is now laying in the doorway, looking pooped out. Rice and chicken are cooked and waiting for his appetite to return. Definitely no rose garden today. It is fortunate that I know sadness is just the other side of the coin from joy. It will all be just fine, whatever happens, as long as I don't fight it. Surrendering, to grief, fear, and tears.