Restless, irritable and discontent.

OK, so sometimes things don't go as I would like. Maybe that's a lot of the time. But don't you just hate it when people stomp all over your boundaries? I no longer have 16 foot high brick walls with razor wire on top, like I did when I was so tender even a nasty look would send me spinning with pain, but I do have this barrier that I am acutely aware of, especially when someone just ignores it. The sad part is I have to think about it for a while to see if it really is a trespass or am I over-reacting. I spent so many years fending off blatant sallys of garbage, I have become kind of used to it. Now I know not to spend a lot of time with people who say "You know what you need?" Yes, I tell them, and leave. Perhaps this has me crazed because it has not happened in so very long, and I feel really nuts that there are still people in my life who do this. I thought I had rid myself of all those "difficult" people, bless them, you know, the ones who need me to be something I am not so they can be OK, except I can never quite be it right, so we are continually starting over again, in search of their happiness, and who cares about mine in this mix. Nobody, that's who, because I am not home for the only person I can really please, me. So today I am home, again, not trying to fix anyone or anything else, not even trying to fix me, though I do have this little cold lingering and some things that could get done which would make my life more easy, like laundry and a long walk with Boo. That may happen. Or maybe I will just hole up with my new Patricia Cornwall novel. Sounds like a plan.